Colonoscopy
sense

June 11, 2023 -- Being 68 years old, I have undergone several routine colonoscopies (even a virtual colonoscopy once), as have my peers. Everyone has an opinion about the procedure, and so do I. Trouble is, most are excessively medicalized. This procedure intersects with two of our culture's strongest fetishes, which I'll describe. But first, here is the right way to prep for and then undergo this procedure.

How to prep: Driven by our culture's food fetish, you think you can't go without it for more than a few hours. Yet the doctor needs an empty bowel to examine so your task is to make it so. Standard prep recommendations call for laxatives and suppositories and diarrhea.

There's an easier way: just stop eating for three days prior. "But I can't do that!" you say. Of course you can; we homo sapiens evolved to handle long periods without sustenance. Think cavemen in wintertime. It's easier than people believe. After three days of fasting (clear liquids are OK as long as they're not red), your bowel will be nicely empty and you won't have poisoned yourself with those noxious chemicals.

How to undergo the procedure: Driven by our culture's phobia about things anal, many squeamish folk demand anesthesia. But that's not necessary; pain, if any, is mild; perhaps some brief stomach cramping, nothing you can't easily endure. Not taking drugs is always better.

You want to be awake and alert so you can watch the video screen. No one is more interested in your insides than you. It's a rare opportunity for a guided tour. Your doctor can explain what he/she sees and does -- perhaps snip a polyp (which you don't feel because polyps have no enervation.)

Don't let the phobias drive you. Colonoscopy's just not a big deal. You can handle it!

Go enlightened patients! Go supportive providers!

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